Season 11, Episode 7: Rm9sbG932ZXjz

Synopsis

A synthesized voice in the intro recounts that time in 2016 Twitter tried to launch an artificial intelligence chatbot that would learn from humans, only to see it turn into a terrible person because Twitter is a cesspool. The voiceover warns that we need to be careful about what we teach AI if we don't want to go extinct ourselves. The intro screen reads VGhlIFRydXRoIGIzIE91dCBUaGVyZQ=, because the writers really want me to take my time recapping this episode.

At a modern D.C. restaurant, Mulder and Scully place their orders with a tablet and play on their phones. They're the only ones in the restaurant, and their food is delivered automatically. Mulder tries to return his blobfish, only to find that the kitchen is entirely staffed by robots. Mulder picks up the tab but opts not to tip. The restaurant responds by eating his credit card and nearly trapping the agents inside.

Scully's taxi home is a self-driving car, which starts driving recklessly when she gets snippy with it. Meanwhile, Mulder's GPS routes him right back to the AI restaurant and his phone starts issuing suggestions that he should tip the chefs.

The agents experience more harassment from technology. Scully is automatically billed for a false alarm after her home security system doesn't accept her password,  and receives a package delivery by drone. Mulder is mocked by an automatic callback option from "Bigly Credit" and smashes a drone he sees hovering outside his home, only to see the wreckage recovered by another drone.

The package delivered to Scully holds a Roomba-like robot vacuum. It prompts an offer related to the "personal massager" it finds under her bed, then gets aggressive when she rejects it. She soon finds herself under attack by several automated appliances in her house, as Mulder is driven from his own home by hundreds of miniature drones.

Scully's automated home systems trap her inside as Mulder arrives, and she narrowly escapes a fireball triggered by the vacuum. The agents shed their phones in an effort to throw off their pursuers. However, they find themselves in a robotics warehouse filled with several threatening robots and devices.

One robot returns Mulder's phone to him, with a message giving him one last chance to tip the chefs at the AI restaurant. Mulder leaves a 10 percent tip, getting a celebratory thank-you and the message, "We learn from you." Mulder comments how humans need to be better teachers. The agents decide to go to an old-fashioned diner for breakfast, and also decide that maybe they don't need to look at their phones every spare minute they have.

Episode Body Count

Humans: 0
Creatures: 0
Aliens: 0

Cumulative Body Count (202/202 original episodes, 2/2 movies, 13/16 reboot episodes)

Humans: 2,496
Creatures: 134
Aliens: 66

Grand Total: 2,696